Adapting To An Empty Nest

Written by:Jarrett Shaver

As you spend the years looking after children and making them your priority in life, the fact that one day they will be independent and fly the nest seems to be light years away. But then the day comes when your precious babies are grown and gone. Many parents find this an emotionally challenging experience. It is not the first time and certainly will not be the last time that parents get disheartened at the sudden change in their lives. Don't worry. You can get through this difficult time.

The first thing that you will need to realize is that the departure of your children does not in any way stop you from being their parent. Essentially, the relationship is mainly changing because your children are not as reliant on you as they used to be, something toward which a good parent progresses naturally from the earliest years. Asserting independence is a natural phenomenon of growing up. This is the time when you can embrace this new phase and help them through it by not trying to hold on to them.

Regardless of where your children go, you will always be a parent to them. Moreover, they will always be a constant source of love for you. While they are entering a major milestone in their lives, you can continue to provide them with valuable guidance and thus cement your bond with the ties of friendship.

There is a reason why many young couples opt to postpone having kids until later in their lives. The reason for this is that once kids are on the scene, the marriage really takes a backseat to the needs of the children. Raising kids is a full time job that requires constant attention, which means young couples will not have as much time for romance and fun as earlier.

Once your kids are gone, you can take the opportunity to rekindle the relationship with your partner. You’ll both be able to cuddle up in the living room and watch a movie without worrying about being disturbed or go out on long walks together without wondering if the kids are about to set the house on fire.

Unmarried moms and dads can also enrich their lives when their kids leave. You can now pay attention to all those friendships that have been neglected for too long. You can also purse interests that will help make new friends as well.

When you're a parent with small children at home, you have to put your child's needs first. Now you can serve yourself first, take care of your own needs, and cut nobody's meat but your own. You no longer have to put your own needs on the back burner. You will be able to do things that you've wanted to do, but couldn't. How about taking a trip! You can go anywhere you want. If there is a hobby you wanted to try, you'll have the time to give it a whirl. You can do what you want to do now.

It may not be easy to accept the fact that your children will soon be embarking on their new journey, leaving you behind. This is not the time to do anything rash. Remember the wise old saying: act in haste and repent in leisure. Refrain from doing anything that you would later regret. Only then can you proceed with your life and your new crazy notions.

You should, however, continue to keep in touch with your kids. Call them up off and on to ensure that you remain in touch with each other. Your job as a parent is to raise your kids to be strong enough to take care of themselves. Let them know you are always there for them and wish them the best in their lives. Otherwise, let their superb upbringing take over.