How To Handle An Empty Nest

Author: Marnie Blankenship

You would think that 18 years is a long time to spend with your children. It isn’t. Certainly, there are days as parents when you think your empty nest won't be all bad. You spend the first few sleepless months tending to your crying babies and then go through even longer days caring for them.

However, this busy parenting schedule soon becomes an intricate and cherished part of your life, and you become saddened at the prospect of your kids leaving home. You are no doubt going to be exposed to some amount of heartache when the day arrives and you find yourself in an empty nest. Yet, if you mentally prepare yourself for this event, you will be better equipped to cope with it.

The way in which you view this phase of life is going to determine how you cope with the change. It is important for you to understand that your children’s departure does not mean that they are deserting you. Your job as a mom or dad is not over. You will still be a parent to your kids for the rest of their lives, even after they have left home. Basically, the major variance in this stage of your life is that your kids are not as reliant on you as they were when they were little. Your children are adults now and capable of making their own decisions; that is one aspect of parenthood that you can set aside. As long as you are willing to offer guidance and emotional support to your kids, remembering that they are no longer kids, you can continue your relationship on a new footing as friends.

When your children leave the house, it can be an opportunity to rekindle the relationship you have with your spouse. Generally when the kids come into the picture, most spouses do not find much time for each other. At the very least, spontaneity is hindered by the responsibilities of parenthood. After the kids are gone, you and your spouse can do whatever you want. There is no one to look after, and you might as well burn the babysitter's number. Use this opportunity to reconnect with the person you first fell in love with and who helped you start this whole crazy parenting routine. Rekindle a little romance or deepen your friendship without interruptions.

If you are not married, raising children can make it difficult to make new friends. Here is your chance to reconnect with people you haven't seen in years or to get out there and meet a few new people.

You are already aware that when kids are around, time is at a premium. Most parents give up some if not all of their personal interests during this period. Once that responsibility has shifted away from you, it is time to unleash your creative skills and reawaken the passions in your life.

Pick up where you left off with past hobbies or start something new. Go on a trip, become a business owner, or just enjoy some of those books you have always wanted to read. With more time on your hands, why wouldn’t you want to pursue the things that you couldn’t do earlier?

Even if you make all the preparations in the world, you are still going to feel the impact when your beloved children leave the house. Take the time to get used to the idea of their absence and start to prioritize your life with new activities. Do not rush into making hasty decisions. Instead, take a few hours reappraising and organizing your life and priorities, which are now quite different. As a parent, your priority was your children. You have raised them well, and you need to trust that your work will pay dividends now that they are out of the house. Now it is time to realign your life with your personal goals. It is definitely payback time for a job well done.